Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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