He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
