There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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