awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
