walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
