I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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