He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize