It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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