dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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