we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
