i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
