lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
