idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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