Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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