i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
