wat bout pragnant strippers??
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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