Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Randomize