Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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