on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
