She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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