I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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