5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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