Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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