Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize