i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
