god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
