Is it because I queefed?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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