So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
