Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
