This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
