Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
