Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
