I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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