i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
