You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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