I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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