that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
