saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
