He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
