Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
