The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
