I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
