$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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