when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
