look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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