I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
