I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
