all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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