I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
