I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
