You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
