How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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