Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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