His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
