please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
