i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
