i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
