so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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