Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
