If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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