Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it's like heaven, but drunker
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
