you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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