Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
